


Impulsive is a word for it

by Cocacola_Garlic



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst, Link Uses Sign Language, Link is very sad and he doesnt know how to deal with it, Link’s not that lucky, M/M, Mute Link, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, Self destruction, Slow Burn, c/w blood, c/w death mentioned, c/w suicidal tendencies, except because its a video game I just got a game over, ft another thing I actually did in this game, idk!, is Link showing up almost dead in the zora domain a trope yet?, maybe not burning at all!, mmmmmmm sad shit, rated mature because of content warnings not because its horny sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 17:58:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17882528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cocacola_Garlic/pseuds/Cocacola_Garlic
Summary: Link never remembered the castle in its glory, he now only knew it in ruins, surrounded by darkness and monsters. Deep down link knew it would be a long time before he could face Ganon there, but before he could recognize the foolishness of his actions he was galloping towards the open feild.Basically just another thing I did in BOTW when I got really sad about Link’s memories. Turned it into a very rough story in which I am a sucker for self destructive Link and Sidon is very worried.





	1. Impulse

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna have a few chapters I’ll update as it goes but this chapter contains some pretty obvious suicidal tendencies, so heads up.  
> (for the record the horse is fine, in case yr worried)

When link came back to his senses he was standing in a small patch of woods near hyrule feild. He blinked a few times to clear away the image of zelda, covered in blood and dirt. Tears streaming down her face as she ran, as they both ran. His heart was still pounding from the memory. although it happened over a century ago it still felt so raw. Link looked down at the spot where he and zelda collapsed. His feelings were still somewhat mixed with those from so long ago but when the panic and regret of his past had ebbed away he realized how angry this all made him.

_Why is it that every memory I find is so terrible_? Link screamed in his head and he had to keep from shattering the sheika slate on the rocks. The hero had every right to be angry really, he woke up in a cave with no knowledge of who he was, or why he was here. He had to find out who he was by other people telling him, often also telling him what to do or where to go but never explaining why. “Destiny” was the best he ever got. This is what he did 100 years ago, he knew that, but 100 years ago he was trained and had experience. He had learned everything he could learn and had spent years perfecting his skills. Now he had no memory of any of that, and yet he was expected to pick up right where he left off. A few paces back even. He never questioned it, no not once, he was a knight after all. He assumed this was his role, it was his job and he was sure he had his reasons for doing it before he died. But now, from everything he was finding, he was beginging to think that he didnt.

He cared about Hyrule and Zelda and all of the champions but Hyrule remembers him as someone hes not, Zelda clearly only saw him as a monument to her own failures and never as a friend or even a person, and the champions were dead. Any emotional connection he had to this place or to his mission was long gone. Who he was 100 years ago was too. And now he has to fight this stupid battle for a place and a person who never really cared about him.

Link reached for the master sword with hands shaking from rage and frustration. He intended to throw it as hard and far as he could but as he hoisted his arm back he just sighed and sheathed the blade again. He probably couldnt even if he tried. He gritted his teeth and tried to swallow the lump that was caught in his throat, his feelings with it. Neither made any motion of clearing. Unsatisfied, he hoisted himself up on his horse and urged it back to the road.

He intended on going back to the stables, but as he exited the trees he caught sight of hyrule castle. Link never remembered the castle in its glory, he now only knew it in ruins, surrounded by darkness and monsters. Deep down link knew it would be a long time before he could face Ganon there, but before he could recognize the foolishness of his actions he was galloping towards the open feild. Every moment link wasted he knew he could spend free of ganons curse, free of destiny, free of the master sword and of the guilt that followed him everywhere he went. He had never even been close to the doors of the palace, the guardians did well in keeping him far away, but he was the hero of hyrule! He had the sword that seals the darkness and while Vah Medoh and Vah Rudania were still under Ganons control somewhere in the world he thought maybe two free beasts would be enough.

Link rode into the castle’s shadow. He wasn’t far now, he could hear the bubbling pools of toxic muck. What he didnt hear until it was too late though, was the many legs of a guardian approaching from behind. His ears caught the beeping of a laser charging up and frantically spurred his horse onward just a moment too late. Link’s vision erupted in fire and pain. Through the smoke he watched his horse whiney and buck him off before sprinting away, leaving him lying on the grass scrambling to regain his feet. As soon as he did though he was thrown to the ground by another devestating blast. This time the explosions repeated in rapid succession throwing link far down the feild. He felt his heart stop, his vision went black, then the soft voice of Mipha awoke him to more fire and pain.

He was finally able to get to his feet but it was to no avail, the guardian already knew he was there and there was no way link could sprint towards it fast enough to stun it. With blood wet hands he scrambled for his ancient arrows only to find his quiver empty, they must have been dropped in the feild somewhere. Panic washed over the hero and he took off sprinting in a random direction. He felt fire lick his heels as he ran. He knew he could outpace the mechanical beast and he might just as well have if he hadnt ran right towards the castle in his panic.

He heard more beeping as two stationary guardians on either side of him lit up and pointed their eyes in his direction. Link froze as he realized what was happening. This is where he was going to die. He was going to die because he was angry and impulsive and impatient. He was going to die because he was stupid. He was going to die because he had wanted to.

Link saw what he imagined were the last moments of his life in slow motion. The guardian to his left lit the sky with a beam of energy as the mobile one closed in behind him, the one to his right was only moments behind its twin. With his final moments Link looked up at the castle, looming closer than it ever had been. Tears ran down his cheeks as he silently apologized to Zelda. He closed his eyes in preperation for what he knew was to come as fire surrounded him.

But instead of the smoke and fire he expected he suddenly felt himself get torn away, and cold humid air filled his senses. Before he could wonder what happened, the hero’s knees gave out and he collapsed into a shallow pool of water at his feet.

Hyrule’s hero would count himself lucky in the coming days that he had landed just so on his sheika slate to turn on the warp function and bring him to the Zora domain. It was a miracle really, and the Zora were more than happy to tend to his wounds. During his recovery and well after Link continued to puzzle at the event. It was odd because normally the warp function worked almost instantly, it had taken the sheika slate much longer to send him off this time. Its almost as if someone had turned it on without him. Or maybe Link hadnt been as accepting of his fate as he thought.


	2. Overcompensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the one where I introduce Sidon and his issues

Prince Sidon was overcompensating. He had been since he was a child really, with no intention of stopping.

As a shark sub-type of Zora he boasted a height above nearly all other residents in the domain, as well as incredibly sharp teeth and claws. Even Sidon himself had to admit he looked intimidating, even scary. But as a prince (espically one who followed after his dear sweet sister, may she rest in peace) this was unacceptable. What kind of ruler would need his subjects to fear him?

So prince Sidon tried to bring kindness wherever he went. His smile was his signature. His booming voice gave compliments more often than commands. He shook hands, kissed babies, and gave crushing embraces. To some extent this was sincere, he was a kind person after all, but the Zora knew that it was somewhat a show.

He was overcompensating, but what else could he do? The kingdom expected him to follow in his sisters footsteps and that put him under a lot of pressure to act a certian way. And try as he might Sidon knew deep down that he would never measure up, not really. So his smiles were half genuine, his compliments half heartfelt, and his heart really just half in it.

It got easier to be hopeful after Vah Ruta was freed, and his sister’s spirit along with it. Hyrule’s hero had returned! Calamity Ganon could be stopped, and if what the legends say are true, he would be. After 100 years of growing panic it felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off the domain’s collective shoulders with one swing of the hero’s sword. People were optimistic, and without the threat of a flood on their hands they could expend their energy doing everything they could to help Link. Sidon was the most hopeful of all, as far as anyone in the domain was concerned.

His friend from so long ago had returned, bringing back old carefree thoughts of his childhood. Back then the little prince didn’t know the world was ending. He had liked it better that way. The nostaglia Link brought was welcome. The deep sadness of his friends lost memories of his sister (and to a lesser extent himself) was not. At first the Zora had been angry at the Hylian for not remembering the friendship he shared with his older sister. He had resented him for not recognizing how badly she had wanted more. But Sidon soon realized that the hero must be feeling much more frustrated. These were his memories after all, what claim did the Zora prince have to them?

In any case, he would never have let his hero know his initial feelings of distaste. Not when they had transformed into honest care for the little hero. He had come such a long way since Sidon had met him, laden down with fragile weapons and mismatched armour. He still had much farther to go, only now having retrieved the sword that seals the darkness with two divine beasts still under Ganon’s control.

Hyrule’s hero seemed practically unstoppable. He had thought so since the prince could remember. He stoically took up his task and was determined to see it through. Sidon admired that bravery. It was as if he was a rock, unaffected by the rushing waters in a river. At least thats what Sidon had thought before he found Link collapsed at the foot of the Ne’ez Yohma shrine, covered in blood and ash and very nearly dead.


	3. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week of rest in the Zora domain Link is anxious to leave. The place makes him feel guilty for reasons he cant quite articulate (or can he?) 
> 
> Finally some feelings! this is the third chapter out of three i have written so i'm not sure when i'll be posting again

It was quiet in the Zora infirmary as Hyrule’s hero gathered his belongings. Link knew he needed to recover for a longer time than he had, but the domain made him restless. He had completed his mission here, and Medoh and Rudania were still at large doing untold damage to the communities they once protected. He had spent long enough in the humid water kingdom, he needed to get out. He wanted to from the moment he arrived and was brought back from the brink of death by the zora healers. He was incredibly grateful, really, but it had been weeks and his ribs would heal on their own. He had spent the last few nights studying the guard patterns and was sure he wouldn’t be caught. Even if he was he was unlikely to be stopped, but the embarrassment of yet another lecture was not something he particularly wanted.

The hero wouldn’t have admitted it out loud of course but the domain also made him feel undue guilt.  When he showed up he didn’t even remember the princess many of the Zora still blame him for killing. And now that he remembers one would expect him to be sad, and mourn her. But Link couldn’t bring himself to feel anything substantial for Mipha. It had been 100 years and he was practically a different person yes but he at least expected some sympathy for her brother. Instead he just felt empty. It made him guilty and angry with himself. How could he not care? He couldn’t answer that, so he had to leave.

  
Link winced as he adjusted the bag on his still healing shoulder to free his movements enough to ease open the door. The courtyard was empty, as expected. The hero looked back at the bed where he left a small fortune in payment. They had insisted he take the treatment for free but he wouldn’t let the healers who were so kind go unappreciated. After a moment of contemplation Link slipped through the door and across the courtyard to the magnificent bridge leading away from the domain. He wished his shoulder was even a little bit better so he could dive into the waters below. or better yet, he wished that the sheikah slate was working properly again so that he could just transport away with no trouble at all. But neither were possible at the moment. He knew if he could get back to Hateno Purah would give the slate her best, but there was no guarantee the system would ever work properly again. He was lucky it wasn’t more broken. He was lucky he wasn't more broken.

  
After double checking that the guards would be stationed where he expected them to be Link broke into a brisk jog towards the bridge. Just before he made it however he heard a familiar voice, normally booming but now lowered as to not wake anyone, address him from in front of Mipha’s statue. Link winced and turned to face the concerned prince.   
“Link, you aren’t leaving us so soon are you?” Sidon’s stance was as royal as ever, but there was a twinge of surprise in his voice.   
It took Link a few moments to respond. _I have to go, I’m sorry._  He added to the gesture as an afterthought. The Zora studied him for a moment as if wanting to object. He appeared to think better of it and instead nodded.

  
“I understand, do what you must hero, as long as you feel you are fit to leave I am no one to question your decisions. Come back soon, we’re counting on your safety.” Link was surprised to hear the deeper meaning in his last statement even as the prince flashed him a smile. Prince Sidon was often cheerful and excited, even overbearing. He seemed to care about Link sure but it was more out of thanks than anything Link suspected. Now he began to wonder if he had underestimated Sidon. He held the shark man’s eyes for a moment, trying to understand further, but when Sidon turned back to Mipha’s statue he didn’t object.

  
He should have left then, ran off into the night. Link couldn’t understand why he didn’t. But there was something in him that responded to Prince Sidon’s unspoken concern for his well-being. He hadn’t told anyone the circumstances of his injuries, though many had asked, he simply said that he had been unlucky and after a while they stopped pressing. Had Sidon seen through him? Link moved to stand next to the Zora. He tapped his wrist to get his attention and began to sign _Do you miss her?_  

Sidon looked surprised to see Link still there. It took him a moment to respond, when he did he looked back at the statue. “I do, very much, but it has been quite some time and I have become used to the feeling.” He met the Hylian’s blue eyes “Do you?” Link’s face fell a bit, he knew staying had been a mistake. This was not a conversation he wanted to have in his current condition.

  
_I guess so._ He signed sharply, it was nearly too quick to follow as if he hadn’t wanted Sidon to understand him. He hadn’t. Unfortunately for the hero Prince Sidon had paid special attention to this area of study.

  
“What do you mean my dearest friend?” Link knew Sidon was hiding the twinge of hurt in his voice, he was doing it quite well but it was late and the Prince's politeness was faltering.

  
Under normal circumstances Link wouldn’t have responded. But he was still reeling from his impulsive battle and the feelings that came with it. He was boiling over and he wasn't sure how to keep it down.  

 _I hardly even remember her Sidon. I don't feel like I know myself from back then, much less the people I knew._ He clenched his fists by his sides for a moment before going on without looking back up. _Even when I saw her spirit in Ruta I felt like I was seeing a stranger. I couldn’t say a word to her, I knew if I did she would know that the Link she knew is long gone. I don't remember how to be him._ Link realized that he had said too much when Sidon’s face lost it’s signature smile. He was hurt, and Link was to blame yet again. The Hylian felt panic well up in his chest and he took a few quick steps back. He wanted to run, run away from this place that reminded him of everything he hated about himself. He would have if what the prince said next hadn’t stopped him in his tracks.   
  
“I suspected that might be the case. I just didn’t want it to be true.” Link’s mouth fell open slightly and he stared into sad golden eyes. “I can’t speak from a place of understanding, but I hope you know my dearest friend that you will never have to prove that you are something you are not, not to me.” Sidon broke eye contact with Link to return his gaze to his sister’s form. “We are both burdened with a desire to rise to the achievements of another. However I suspect your burden is heavier than mine. I would help you carry it if I could my dearest friend.” Link stayed where he was, wordlessly staring at a man who he now realized he had greatly misunderstood. The prince turned to him, looking sheepish suddenly “Oh dear I’m so sorry if I spoke out of line Link! I never meant to do so.” The hero in question shook his head  to stave off his concerns.   
_Its fine, I didn’t expect you to understand... I’m sorry I underestimated you._ Link looked down. _I don’t really talk about this stuff much._  Link heard Sidon take a few steps towards Link and lower himself to his knees to be closer to the smaller man’s level.  

  
“I hope that I am not asking too much to say that I would be more than happy to allow you to talk to me. You are a dear friend and I hate to see you suffer like this.” There was such sincere care in Sidon’s voice. Link hadn’t had someone care about him so much in a long time. Before he could stop himself tears began to well up in his blue eyes and roll down his cheeks. When he realized how silly he looked crying at just a few kind words he covered his face with his hands but the tears didn’t cease. Sidon didn’t say a word but instead reached one large hand out to pull the hero into an embrace. Link collapsed into Sidon’s chest, a small sound escaping from his throat. The prince held him there, shielding him from the world just for a moment. Link couldn’t express how grateful he was. The Zora lowered his head to whisper soothing words to Link as his heart had its way.

“It must be so hard hero, to live to please everyone but you. You don’t deserve to hurt like this. Its okay, I promise it’s okay.” As he spoke he rubbed his thumb along the hero's shoulders, those shoulders that carried so much. Link clung to Sidon’s adornments, as if he was so scared to let go. After a while though, he did. His tears stopped, and even as he moved to step out of Sidon’s grasp he felt as if there was a part of him still holding on.

  
Link was suddenly very aware that the sun would rise soon and he would be seen, eyes still red and swollen, clearly a moment of weakness that he did not need the general population to witness. Sidon seemed to have noticed Links shoulders tense and eyes grow wide and quickly offered to allow the hero to wash up in his chambers. Link was grateful for the offer and took it without the hesitation he would have normally. Privacy was good, it would let him collect himself before he faced the public again. The prince lead him to his bedchambers, casually shielding him from direct view when needed. There was something so natural about the way the prince switched gears between overly polite and understanding. Link would never have guessed that Sidon would be the one to truly understand his frustrations. Though, it did make sense, after all the Zora were the only people still alive (aside from Zelda) that knew him before the Calamity. Maybe he really could have someone to talk to.

Link looked at Sidon with a newfound hope as the prince shut the door behind them and began to search for a cloth to offer the Hylian. Link knew royalty had large bedrooms, but he had never been in one himself, at least not that he remembered. It was difficult to choose a place to sit, there were many chairs and couches around the room, it made him wonder if he often had meetings here. The hero settled for a bench in front of the prince’s bed, by the time he sat Sidon had returned with a damp piece of fabric. He took the cloth with a gesture of thanks and pressed it to his face. He took a few deep breaths, letting his heart slow to a regular pace. Even as he did he remained very aware of Sidon standing nearby, trying to find something to busy himself with. When Link felt himself relax and dropped the cloth he caught golden eyes watching him. Sidon looked away, embarrassed. Link wasn’t completely sure why.

  
The hero stood and got Sidon’s attention to ask him where the cloth should go. As a response the prince jumped to take it from him, exclaiming that he was a guest and should be treated as such. Link frowned at this but handed the cloth over anyway, returning to his seat. It felt rude to make a prince clean up for him in his own bedroom, but he didn’t want to argue that point. Link had noticed Sidon seemed to be trying to articulate something for some time now, and while he was never one to pry he disliked how the unspoken words made the Zora prince frown.

 _What do you want to say?_ Sidon seemed surprised at the question.

  
“You have sharp eyes my friend. Yes, I want to ask you something but I am concerned that it could bring up sensitive topics.” Sidon settled in a chair adjacent to Link’s. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable dearest friend.”

  
Link considered this then responded. _It’s okay._

  
Sidon nodded slowly, not completely convinced. “You do not have to answer this if you do not want to, but I would like to know what caused you such grave injuries. You arrived to us on death’s door and yet you have not yet told us why.” Link had suspected this would be it. He raised his hands to say the same thing he told the healers but he hesitated. He had been so vulnerable just minutes before, and he couldn’t deny that it felt nice to finally share his feelings. It also seemed as though Sidon had not, as link expected, considered him weaker for it.

  
_I did something stupid._ He finally admitted after a pregnant pause. _I just got impatient, it won't happen again._ He hadn’t thought he was lying, so it shocked him when he realized that it was. What was worse that it was an obvious lie.

  
“My dearest friend, you didn’t try to fight calamity Ganon did you?” Link laughed without mirth at the Zora’s wide eyes and shook his head.

  
_Didn’t get that far._

  
He averted his gaze, the concern the prince obviously held for him was becoming sickening. It was almost pity.  Link didn’t think he could handle being pitied.   
“Oh my... Link...” He heard Sidon rise and kneel again in front of the hero. “Why would you do such a dangerous thing?” A spark of anger flashed in Link and he grit his teeth. His movements growing sharp and exaggerated.

  
_What are you talking about? I’m going to have to get in that castle soon anyway! I might as well get it done sooner rather than later, the more time I waste now the stronger Calamity Ganon becomes and the more danger Zelda is in! I have to try!_ Link realized he was in danger of bringing himself to tears again and abruptly stopped his hands. He glared at Sidon in front of him, so full of concern for what? No one had any right to be pitying him.  Link didn’t want pity. Sidon’s sad look just aggravated Link more and before Sidon could open his mouth to respond Link was standing and moving to the door.

  
“Link, please, hold on.” Sidon stood and reached for the hero’s shoulder which was quickly wrenched away from him. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked... but my friend I don't think you’re telling me the truth.” Link froze with his hand inches from the handle. A breath passed between them. Then the hylian slammed the door shut behind him. 


End file.
